Fear and Loathing on Saturdays

Saturday was a rough day - all hands on deck as it were.


Busy day filled with long lines, price changes and all other kinds of fun. There were some Saturdays where you would literally spend 3 hours bagging for a slow cashier and couldn't get your own shit done!


The worst was if you were on Jack's shit-list. He'd give you the fucking baby food AND the tomato sauce to do price changes on. You had to be fast to do those both in the same day. LF and GF were 2 of the best for that.


Breaks and lunch were usually fun IF you could get some of the other guys to go at the same time.


I remember one lunch break we went to a local Burger King and LF was giving the woman at the counter some shit (as he always would). The exchange went something like this:


LF: I'll have a cheeseburger - hold the cheese
Woman: Huh?
LF: I'll have a cheeseburger - hold the cheese
Woman: Just tell me what you want, please
LF: OK just a regular hamburger
Woman: Anything else?
LF: Fries
Woman: Anything to drink?
LF: Whadda ya got?
Woman: Coke, Sprite, etc, etc
LF: Just water
Woman: Is that it?
LF: Can I have some extra ketchup?
Woman: How much do you want?
LF: HOW MUCH CAN YOU HOLD?


He'd do this on occasion - picking another innocent "victim" at random and just raz the shit out of them - sometimes until they were to the point of tears. Usually we were all in tears because we were laughing so damn hard.


LF has a gift - and he still uses it to this day.

Jack

Jack was the grocery manager at The Tombs. He was a scruffy, skinny little shit, tough as nails and drove a big, gold Lincoln Continental. Far too big for his little body.

He was a nut. He'd flip you off at the drop of a hat.

I remember being at the store at some point during my first week of work - still training on the register - and I was on my break, sitting outside drinking a soda. He was coming in, walking through the parking lot and as he got closer to me he just smiled, flipped me the bird and kept right on walking.

I had a feeling I was gonna like this guy just because he didn't give a shit - he came in, got the work done and that was that. Don't piss him off though - if you did your work you got to stay on his good side. He was a good man and reminded me of a cross between Hunter S. Thomson and a rabid pitbull.